What I learned about men by posting a ‘For Sale’ ad on Kijiji

The ad said $100.  Men offered $70, $80, $90.  Every woman who replied to the ad accepted the stated price. The ad indicated my location, implying pick-up.  Men asked whether I’d deliver it (all or part of the way) or simply said my location was too far away.  The closest a woman got to that kind of response was ‘Are you ever in North Bay?’  (And the woman who bought it drove the distance deemed by several men to be ‘too far’.) The ad said nothing about disassembling the item.  Men asked whether I would do that (so they could more easily fit it in their vehicle).  No woman asked for that. So.  Does this mean that … Men are more assertive than women? Men are more demanding that women? Men feel more entitled (to whatever it is they want) (and maybe even to things they don’t want) (just because) than women? Men themselves use language loosely (they seldom mean what they say or say what they mean) and so assume others do as well? So if $100 could mean $70, then $30,000/year could mean $35,000 and ‘no benefits’ could mean ‘Okay, a dental plan’. And ‘No’ could mean ‘Yes.’ Share

What’s in a word? (on being ‘knocked up’ or …)

So I’ve been thinking not only about the words people use to describe sexual intercourse (screwed, fucked—both used to describe what is done to the woman—both of which also describe a general state of disaster) (which, actually, is often accurate if pregnancy results), but also about the words used to describe pregnancy itself:

“knocked up” – note the implication of violence: is that what men think they’re doing when they create life? engaging in an act of violence?

“bun in the oven” – as if we’re inanimate appliances

“preggers” – so casual, too casual, far too casual

“expecting” – far too vague (and also far too casual)

“in the family way” – like the previous ones, this seems oddly passive—suggesting that the stork happened to fly by? (it also assumes completing the pregnancy)

“with child” – out of vogue—hm (perhaps rightly so since it’s not a child until a few years after it’s born)

So what should we say? Something specific. And something that conveys the hugeness (no pun intended) of the condition: however one chooses to deal with the fact of the matter, there are going to be life-changing consequences.

How about ‘I’m growing a human being with my body! Inside my body!’

Followed by ‘What am I going to do about it?’ (Because yes, there is a choice to be made.)

Or, simply, ‘I’m a host’—prefacing with ‘willing’ or ‘unwilling’. (Initially, I thought of adding adjectival option, ‘undecided’, but potential hosts should really be decided before engaging in an action that could lead to host status, and if the action was coerced, then ‘unwilling’ surely suffices.)



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“Unbelievable” on Netflix

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!

A feminism-informed examination of rape from point of view of police (female) and, to some extent, victims (as interviewed).

Single series drama with eight episodes.

Passes the Bechdel test (and more) with FLYING COLOURS!!!



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Hearing from transmen about sexism

“From no longer having to worry about being attacked on my way home at night, to being taken seriously when I talk (just because everyone assumes I was born with a penis), life’s a breeze compared to when I was living as female.” Why are trans men always left out of the conversation?

“It wasn’t that I wanted to be a boy – I just didn’t want to be a woman. I wanted to be neutral and do whatever I wanted.” https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-51806011

World, see that? That’s how shitty women are treated in our fucking sexist society. It’s so bad, young women would rather get a sex change.

“Over and over again, men who were raised and socialized as female described all the ways they were treated differently as soon as the world perceived them as male. They gained professional respect, but lost intimacy. They exuded authority, but caused fear. From courtrooms to playgrounds to prisons to train stations, at work and at home, with friends and alone, trans men reiterated how fundamentally different it is to experience the world as a man.

“Many trans men I spoke with said they had no idea how rough women at work had it until they transitioned. As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names.

“James Gardner is a newscaster in Victoria, Canada, who had been reading the news as Sheila Gardner for almost three decades before he transitioned at 54. As soon as he began hosting as a man, he stopped getting as many calls from men pointing out tiny errors. ‘It was always male callers to Sheila saying I had screwed up my grammar, correcting me,’ he says. ‘I don’t get as many calls to James correcting me. I’m the same person, but the men are less critical of James.’

“Dana Delgardo is a family nurse practitioner and Air Force captain who transitioned three years ago. Since his transition, he’s noticed that his female patients are less open with him about their sexual behavior, but his bosses give him more responsibility. ‘All of a sudden, I’m the golden child,’ he says. ‘I have been with this company for 6 years, no ever recommended me for management. Now I’m put into a managerial position where I could possibly be a regional director.’

“Trans women have long observed the flip side of this reality. Joan Roughgarden, a professor emerita of biology at Stanford and a transgender woman, says it became much more difficult to publish her work when she was writing under a female name. ‘When I would write a paper and submit it to a journal it would be almost automatically accepted,’ she said of the time when she had a man’s name. ‘But after I transitioned, all of a sudden papers were running into more trouble, grant proposals were running into more trouble, the whole thing was getting more difficult.’

We’ve been saying all this for centuries. (I hope y’all will fight like hell to change this, rather than just bask in your new privilege. I hope you’re calling out your new buddies …)



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Life Imprisonment for Abortion – here in Canada!

I just found out that until I was 12, not only was abortion illegal here in Canada (that I knew), but the penalty was LIFE IMPRISONMENT. That I did NOT know. So recently!!


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A tale of two athletes – thanks to ovarit

 

reposted from ovarit

Unfuckingbelievable.  Seriously.


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Male vs. Female re sexual offences

“Around 13,000 males are in prison for sexual offences compared to fewer than 150 females. “

(according to a post at https://fairplayforwomen.com/stop-misreporting-sex/ about England and Wales)

Says a lot, doesn’t it.



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Smartphones and Pictograms: A Regression to the Primitive

Given the size of smartphones, one is reduced to using one or two digits to create a message (compared to the ability to use all ten digits when using a laptop/keyboard). That probably explains the increase in the use of pictograms: touching a happy face from a menu of emoticons is easier than inputting the ten-character (including spaces) ‘I am happy’.

Also, given the size of smartphones, pictograms are more efficient: at the font required to be legible, ‘I am happy’ would take up more space.

Thing is, the use of pictograms is a regression to a primitive mode of communication. Pictograms are less expressive—capable of less complexity—than words and sentences. Does anyone even know the definition of a sentence anymore? It’s the expression of a complete thought. As opposed to an emotion (or a simple assertion—’yes’ ‘no’) such as can be conveyed by a pictogram.

Such regression is also evident in the forementioned use of two digits (or even one) rather than ten for input.

Which begs the question: are we regressing and therefore using pictograms and two digits or are we using pictograms and two digits and therefore regressing?



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“For All Mankind” (an apple tv series)- absolutely appalling

I know.  Given the title, I never should have bothered.  And I certainly shouldn’t’ve expected, let alone hoped, for anything remotely alternative (the series is billed as ‘alternative history’).  Alternative to the male dominance, the white male dominance, the relentlessly juvenile competition and all the rest of disgusting masculinity (when the Soviets landed on the Moon before the Americans, the American astronauts were told, by their superior [sic] ‘Go, get angry, kick your dog, do whatever you have to do …’ [instead, many of them get in their hot cars and drive so dangerously, they put everyone on the road at risk of serious injury and death] — not one could cheer that humans had travelled to the Moon) … I lasted fifteen minutes. Then I skipped ahead to episode three, because it looks like there’s an all-female crew … and lasted until the man said to the woman he was teaching to fly something like ‘Take it easy, hon’ …”.  Hon’? So.  If this is not imaginative, but realistic, well, it’s worse than I thought. Share

Reasons You were Not Promoted that are Totally Unrelated to Gender

Another brilliant piece at McSweeney’s: Reasons You wee Not Promoted that are Totally Unrelated to Gender


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