Combining Family and Career

People say that women can’t have, can’t combine, a family and a career, that it’s having family responsibilities that keeps them from advancement – the inability to work late or on weekends, the tendency to need time off to tend to kids…

I’m not so sure.  I’ve never had such competing obligations, and I don’t have a career.  I think the family thing is a red herring.  Women just don’t get hired into career-track jobs nearly as often as men, and when they do, they don’t get advanced.  (And not because their family responsibilities get in the way.)

In fact, it might be an advantage to be a mother, because you’re seen as more adult then, you’re seen as an authority.  Certainly one carries oneself with more authority, I notice that a lot: as soon as someone becomes a parent, the authority they are to their kids spills over, and they start acting like they know everything with everyone, like they have a right to tell everyone what to do.  It’s especially obvious with women because it’s the first time they have, or are seen to have, authority. Women without kids aren’t grown up yet, they aren’t granted any sort of authority, certainly no position of responsibility.  It’s as if becoming a parent proves you can be responsible.

But of course it does no such thing: witness the very many irresponsible parents; indeed, becoming a parent in the first place is, for many, due to irresponsibility.  And, of course, there are many other ways of demonstrating responsibility.

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3 Responses to “Combining Family and Career”

  1. shmiggen Says:

    “In fact, it might be an advantage to be a mother, because you’re seen as more adult then, you’re seen as mature. Certainly one carries oneself with more authority, I notice that a lot: as soon as someone becomes a parent, the authority they are to their kids spills over, and they start acting like they know everything with everyone, like they have a right to tell everyone what to do. It’s especially obvious with women because it’s the first time they have, or are seen to have, maturity. Women without kids aren’t grown up yet, they aren’t granted any sort of authority, certainly no position of responsibility. It’s as if becoming a parent proves you can be responsible.
    But of course it does no such thing: witness the very many irresponsible parents; indeed, becoming a parent in the first place is, for many, due to irresponsibility. And, of course, there are many other ways of demonstrating responsibility.”

    I altered a few words. You are correct, of course. The world is unfair. But your solution is not constructive. You’re saying because motherhood is not always a sign of maturity, we should give up on the notion entirely. I would counter that we ought to do the opposite: strengthen that notion.

  2. ptittle Says:

    Woh, where do I say we should give up on the notion of motherhood altogether??

  3. shmiggen Says:

    I retract my statement. You are clearly correct and in this day and age no one who is single ought to be looked at with raised eyebrows.


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